Through My Eyes

     Here I’ve been sitting for an hour, contemplating on how I would describe myself to my readers for my first blog post. My mind went blank as soon as our teacher announced that we would be writing our first post with the topic “Best Describes Myself”. I’m the one who should know myself the best since I’ve been living in this body for almost 16 years. The task seems simple, yet the complexities of our individuality makes it a formidable challenge. How do I encapsulate my essence, my passions, my beliefs and aspirations, into mere words?

Well, let’s start with my basic infos :) My full name is Maria Harmony Bautista Huligañga. Most of the time, people usually call me “Harmony” although my family and my peers from kindergarten call me “Maha”. I’d much prefer “Harmony” though and don’t get me started by calling me by my first name. A few years back, my mom went to Kuwait and babysat two boys. One of them was an avid fan of the famous series called “Harry Potter”. Since my mom basically had to live with them for a very long time, consequently, my mom grew fond of the series and took a liking to one of the female characters called “Hermione Granger”. She liked her so much that when I was born, she took the name and innovated it to my name now which is “Harmony”. Ever since I was a child, I used to brag about my name and I still do love it because whenever I meet new people, they would always compliment my name first, which I thank my mom for (^人^).

I am 15 turning 16 on the 3rd of November. I am the only daughter of my parents although I do have two half brothers - the eldest residing in Lebanon and my other brother in Manila. I dwell in the City of Vigan although when I used to be little, my uncle and my grandmother took care of me in Sampaloc, Manila until the age of 4 because both of my parents had to work abroad to earn an income. Throughout my childhood, both my parents were absent, although they would visit every year to bond with me. I admit, the absence of my parents cast a shadow over my childhood. Their pursuit of opportunities abroad meant missed birthdays, absent cheers at school events, and a constant ache for parental presence. That’s why ever since I was little, I had this drive to strive for the “first place” position and to always give my all in everything I do so that I’d have something to present them when they came to visit me. I still recall those moments where I truly wish I had them that moment. The time where I had a skin allergy so bad, I cried every night wishing that the itching would stop - wishing my father was there, to give his expertise in medicine since he was a nurse. The time where I encountered my first menstrual cycle, not knowing what to do - wishing my mom was there to teach me how to put my pads correctly and how to deal with the painful cramps. Yet, as I matured, I grasped the depth of their sacrifice. Their decision was born out of love and necessity, driven by the pursuit of better opportunities and the desire to provide for our family. Their absence, though painful, became a crucible of resilience, teaching me self-reliance and empathy. 

I like a lot of things. Someone I knew used to joke about how I’m good at everything I do, and that when I take an interest in something, I always do good at it which boosted my ego a little bit („• ᴗ •„). I like cooking, which I think I got from my mom since she cooks for a living. It is my creative sanctuary. I often hear people say that cooking is a chore but I beg to differ. It's a form of self-expression and a way to share my love with others. I like the thought of cooking the favorite food of someone dear to me. There's something profoundly satisfying about seeing the face of theirs light up in delight as they savor a meal I've prepared. 

I like painting - to some extent. I like seeing the outcome after I painted but the process for me feels like eternity. You’d have to layer paint in order to create something. The quote “trust the process” really applies here but in some cases, I do give up halfway - reasons for dozens of my unfinished sketches.

I LOVE putting on makeup. Putting on makeup boosts my confidence a huge lot. I’ve heard some people say it masks your identity but I think makeup accentuates your features more and makes you feel more self-assured in various situations. It is therapeutic as well, providing me with a moment of self-care and relaxation in my daily routine. 

I love fashion as well. I like making random combinations in my wardrobe or taking an inspo from a certain character to go out to. I like the stares I get from people by just simply walking around and getting random compliments from kids or strangers. I like taking pictures with it and posting it on social media. It serves as a confidence booster and makes me poised in my own skin. 

I like reading books, manhwas, fanfics and watching films or movies. Within these, I find solace, inspiration, and endless possibilities. I like that whenever I finish a series, it makes me reflect on my own life, it gives me a whole new perspective on things and gives me another reason to continue living. Whether it's the thrill of a mystery, the wisdom of non-fiction, or the enchantment of fiction, these are my constant companions, offering me the invaluable gift of knowledge, escapism, and endless wonder. As much as I enjoy these, I do find myself having dozens of unfinished films and books due to my hectic schedule (procrastinating) (`ー´).

I like music. Whenever I get asked “What’s your favorite song?” I can never answer it due to me having various interests in different genres of music. Some of my favorite artists and bands I would say are Kali Uchis, Tyler the Creator, Frank Ocean, The Weeknd, Drake, Playboi Carti, Partynextdoor, Summer Walker, Deftones, Lamp, TV Girl, The Internet, Arctic Monkeys, The Marías, Men I Trust and many other more. A couple of months ago I’ve taken an interest to a K-pop band called New Jeans because of a certain someone I met a few months back which is now a good friend of mine. 

I also like my friends A LOT. Special mention to my friends Riza, Zithri, Caithe, LJ, Miwa and Rimas ♡(>ᴗ•). I like how I could easily tell them about my day or just random things in general and they’ll listen. I like that I could always ask them whenever I have a hard time understanding our lessons. I like the long convos we have each day, their unending supplies of chikas /j. Their presence is like a comforting melody in the background, a constant reminder of camaraderie and support. With them, every experience becomes brighter, every hurdle is easy, and every achievement more meaningful. My friends are not just companions; they are the stars that light up my darkest nights, my daily dose of serotonin, and the constants in the ever-changing landscape of life, and for that, I am endlessly grateful. 

I also like failures :) Failures, though often discouraging, are crucial aspects of life that contribute significantly to personal and emotional growth. I admit, I still do fear failing sometimes. Like the instance where I would doubt and stop myself from reciting for the fear of having the wrong answer or the times where I would stop myself from participating in competitions for the fear of getting myself embarrassed. Through failures, we learn resilience, as we face setbacks and develop the strength to rise again. Failures foster humility, teaching us that everyone faces challenges and that it's okay not to be perfect. I recall the quote of Denzel Washington during his speech that we watched on our English discussion. He said that “If there’s no failure, there’s no progress”. Without trying and failing, we wouldn’t be able to reach a conclusion. Failures are the stepping stones to success, guiding us towards self-discovery, perseverance, and a deeper understanding of life's complexities. So let’s stop refraining ourselves from failing. What’s important is that through each one of these failures, we learn from them and gain new perspectives to apply in the future. 

Last but not the least, I like you reader ! I realized that I might have overshared too much ૮(˶╥︿╥)ა and with it, I hope I got to accomplish my claims in the beginning, which is that I got to encapsulate my being properly. I thank your patience and attention span for reading my lengthy blog post ‘till the end. I understand that time is precious, and your decision to invest in absorbing the words I've shared means the world to me. I hope I get to share more of my experiences and opinions with you and you stay with me through the end of the school year !! ⊂( ´ ▽ ` )⊃

REFERENCE/S:

     Pin by emma xo. (n.d). Pinterest. Retrieved October 10, 2023, from

https://pin.it/6npNlDo

     Green, Elsie. (2020). ELSIE'S LIBRARY | FALL 2020 READING LIST.

https://pin.it/R9iMmgt

     (n.d). Accounts.google.com. Retrieved October 10, 2023, from

https://www.blogger.com/u/1/blog/post/edit/5797100524160439019/3761251474060524067